English, innit?

[Beate]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl..

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

[superhero]

I don't mind if the official language was English or German, anything else might be more problematic

[funthing29]

[weirdfilms33]

Wahnsinn!

[prettyxcool]

That's great beate

[aruif]

haha beate i was going to post that here the other day but the thread it's in on another forum had dropped off! glad you had it. hilarious!

[Razam]

LOL @ Beate
THNX :)

[RedDevil]

lol very good, I'll be sending that to a few mates!

[the-mental-one]

I quite dislike text speak and 1337 speak turning up on forums, one feels lazy the other makes me think the author is daft and/or a haxxor w4nn4b3. I had thought that it was dying out somewhat as I hadn't come across as much leet in my recent web travels but then I discovered that some of my 'friends' on Facebook have started telling each other about the fact you can set your main language to Leet Speak...still these are the same people who were using the upside down English setting for a while so it's probably just another phase that will die quite quickly.

[valda]

I quite dislike text speak and 1337 speak turning up on forums, one feels lazy the other makes me think the author is daft and/or a haxxor w4nn4b3. I had thought that it was dying out somewhat as I hadn't come across as much leet in my recent web travels but then I discovered that some of my 'friends' on Facebook have started telling each other about the fact you can set your main language to Leet Speak...still these are the same people who were using the upside down English setting for a while so it's probably just another phase that will die quite quickly.

I know what Text speak is, and can't be bothered with it. I have no idea what any of the others are!