I was really peed off, I was looking forward to singing 'he's half a girl, he's half a boy Torres, Torres... Sells his arse round Albert Dock'... Bastard only went and moved to Chelsea

DON'T DO IT!
My friend got married. Her MIL, being a Geordie, dressed in a black and white stripped outfit.
The wedding was the day after King Kev and Newcastle parted ways. The MIL wanted the wedding to be cancelled, she was so gutted.