Relationship Help!

[weliveandbreathewords]

I know this isnt a very good place to ask for help in this kind of situation, usually its a parent matter but unfortunately, my boyfriend and my parents are the problem :/

my parents have met Bob ONCE and he stopped round for dinner and everything was ok
until my nan started moaning about him through the paper thin walls...
so instantly, bob doesnt like my nan
and stops coming over(since she complained about it the first time)

then earlier this year, me and my mom had tickets to see greenday at wembley, and so did Bob and lucy(his sister)
so my mom offered them a lift down, and everything was fine
until it came to leaving
basically, we were closer to the car in the car park than lee and his sister(who were on the opposite side of the stadium to us)
so naturally, wembley being so big, it took them an extra 15 mins to get to the car, which resulted in us being stuck in the car park for well over an hour
and mom didnt hold back in letting bob and his sister know how she felt
when it wasnt even their fault, made me feel like a complete idiot, i was so embarassed(note: my mom has SERIOUS anger management issues and does this frequently over little things)
so both bob and his sister dont like my mom anymore
so lee stops coming into the house altogether, and stops talking to them
which in all fairness i think is perfectly reasonable until he gets an apology(which is yet to come) but unfortunately, bob isnt one to forgive and forget, and my parents claim to have forgotten all this ever happenned, yet every chance they get(e.g if i start texting him) they will bad mouth him to high heavens
and ive constantly told them to stop and its doing my head in
bob wont forgive them and move on, and they keep bad mouthing him, which is making me change my feelings about bob
i feel as if theyre trying to break us up
and so far we havent had any arguments, except for the parental clash that always seems to be on my end(happened with my ex too)
i seriously dont know what to do
im hoping that when i move out next week itll be the end of it
but my birthday is the week after and even though i invited bob, he refuses too since both my parents will be there, and reassures me well have a better weekend alone the week after
:/

im really at the end of my tether, i have a feeling this could end our relationship, and its not anyones fault except for my parents :/
i dont know what to do

[a_person]

Firstly I hope these aren't real names you are using. If so, please edit your post with different names. :)

Secondly, I recall you being around 18ish, right? When you're that age it always feels like your parents are wrong. I used to argue with my mum all the time too! Parents have this thing in them that they think no boy/girl is good enough for their kid and even though you're a young adult, they still view you as their baby girl and will naturally doubt your choice in men. You've got to remember, they perhaps see traits in your bf that you fail to see and believe you could do so much better. I can assure you that you will still be arguing about this with your parents in ten years time so all I can say is learn to cope with it as much as you can and move out when you are financially stable to avoid arguments and gain independence (you will learn alot of this living at halls). You can't throw away your parents and they have helped make who you are so you just have to learn to deal with their bad habbits. (My parents have embarrassed me so many times too including shouting at me while I am on the phone so you're certainly not alone!! LOL)

I'm sorry to say but your bf sounds so childish. Seriously,he needs to grow up and not care what others think. It's also very unhealthy not to forgive and wait for someone to say sorry. If he thinks that someone saying something bad about him makes him God's gift to go and sit on a pedestal and not come back down from it, he really needs to go out and see life more - there is shit loads more that goes on and if he can't cope with a few petty comments, he won't cope with much in life.

Another thing, if he doesn't like anyone in your family, that will always be an issue. Is this a guy you are in love with? Do you really see yourself being in a relationship with this guy if he keeps getting his underpants in a knot? What about if you do something to upset him? (which you will do because it happens in all relationships). Is this the sort of personality you like? An ex of mine was like this and to be honest with you, I look back and think how bloody glad I am he's an ex and nothing more. I am also sure the ex you talk about now is one who you don't regret losing. Infact, I am sure you will look back at many aspects of your life as you get older and you will meet many new people, lose a few people but will be glad for the ones you lose. I certainly couldn't give a toss about anyone who I've lost.

What your parents did is certainly out of order but he needs to realise what is important to him. Straining your relationship for this or getting over it and having something proper and solid with you is something he really needs to think about.

I'm sorry if you feel I'm being harsh or insulting your boyfriend but I'm telling you how I see it from here and also sensing your naivety (and as mature as you sound, you will be naive at 18 - even I am still somewhat naive and I am alot older than you!).

You're a young and intelligent woman and you are just starting out a new life at a good university, one that shall probably be very prosperous and take you to great places. Don't ever let anyone hold you back, not your family and certainly not a boyfriend - you'll grow to regret it. Relationship problems will really get you down and you do not need this when you are starting out new at university. The first year always seems easy but second and third start getting tense and stressful so there's no time to mess around.

Whatever decision you make, you need to make sure it's right for YOU, not your family or your bf. Your decision will ultimately affect you and your future.

[weliveandbreathewords]

Had a loooooooooooong and healthy chat with 'bob' about the whole thing last night. he was very understanding, id had a chat with my nan before hand and she said its because shes old fashioned, and when hes late to pick me up and stuff like that, it annoys her to high heavens because she wants me to have a 'gentleman' like her husband which is a nice thought but i said how it was affecting things and she understood what i meant
i didnt even involve my mom in similar talks, cause i know itd end up in an argument
but i do think its got progressively worse the closer its come to me moving away
they say parents have different ways of dealing with things, but unfortunately for her, her method is pushing me away not keeping me here in the slightest :S
but it should cease once i have actually moved so that helps a bit

after speaking with 'bob' he said he doesnt care about what they think or do behind his back, all he cares about is me, and he assured me over and over that it wont come between us
and if there is a time when he HAS to be in the same room with them both, he will.
he just thinks that us having a weekend alone would be more appropriate because the meal for my bday is more of a family event, since its my nans birthday aswell, which to be honest i did think, cause it would be awkward either way(if he got on with them or not)

i think the whole thing where i broke down last night was just me assuming the worst because of what my parents had said that night, mom nitpicked at everything under the sun, and nan just fluently agreed, i dont think they saw how it was affecting me
'bob' says he hasnt got a problem with them and doesnt care what they say or do and doesnt think it is strainignt he relationship, and my nan has said "its your life, your relationship, what I say hasnt got anything to do with it" which is true but it doesnt help when you keep hearing 'bad' things about the guy you love all the time, especially when they dont know him
in all honesty it was probably bad timing(in the month!) and me being a worrier as i am, i just assumed things, thought a bit too much got upset for some bizarre reason and at the end of it, nothing was drastically wrong to begin with :S
gosh im so stupid ><